Destination X: What I Needed

Promotional image for NBC’s “Destination X.” Image taken from IMDB.

Now, I’m not normally the type to watch a lot of TV. Usually, I don’t have the attention span for such shows, a consequence of how much time I’ve spent scrolling through social media. It’s affected all of us, and not in a good way.

That being said, one show seemed like it might be an exception. I received an ad for it on Paramount Plus yesterday, which serves as evidence that the advertisers know, by and large, who I am and what I’m interested in. Of course, that’s not a conspiracy theory - it’s public information. Anyone who pays attention to current events knows how these algorithms work. And yesterday I submitted to them.

At any rate, as soon as I saw a commercial for NBC’s Destination X, I knew I had to give it a watch. I am, after all, an avid GeoGuessr player and geography fanatic. 

The premise of the show is what I’d describe as a combination between Big Brother and GeoGuessr. Basically, ten strangers (though two more contestants are apparently added in the third episode, which doesn’t seem fair) are on this giant bus where the windows are all blacked out. In other words, the contestants have little to no way to tell where they are going. And guess what?

Meme from iFunny with the caption “THAT’S THE POINT!”

The show is hosted by a guy named Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Apparently he was an actor on this obscure show called The Walking Dead. I doubt you’ve heard of it. Anyway, he’s still quite an engaging presence on Destination X, though more on that later.

Now, the first thing I noticed upon searching for this show on Google was that the reviews were pretty middling. As of the moment I searched for it, only about half of Google users liked the show. I’ll admit that at first, I was fairly skeptical that I’d enjoy a TV series that had received such mediocre feedback.

After a few minutes, though, I was in full-on “fuck the haters” mode. Like, seriously. I couldn’t believe so many people disliked Destination X. It’s the perfect show for me, though I’ll acknowledge it might not be perfect for everyone. You need to go into it with a certain mindset.

The cast consists of twelve strangers, all but one of whom live in the United States. There’s one guy, Rick, who lives in Ontario, but he’s apparently originally from Seattle. If he’s one of the people who moved to Canada to escape Trump, I don’t blame him. In all seriousness, of the original ten players, only one could be considered previously famous - Josh Martinez, a former winner of Big Brother.

As an avid, longtime viewer of The Amazing Race, I was eager to check out this travel competition series. That’s a genre I need to search for more members of. According to their cast bios, the contestants are quite well-traveled with the exception of “Biggy”, a dad-gum likable fish out of water from Tennessee. Lots of them have been as far afield as Australia. And you know why I found that shocking upon reading these bios?

These contestants are idiots.

Okay, I’ll admit that’s not the kindest framing. Even if network TV ratings are a fraction of what they used to be, the fact remains that lots of people are watching. The contestants are quite brave for putting themselves out there and exposing their actions (and knowledge, or lack thereof, of European geography) to public scrutiny. I don’t mean to imply that being a public figure in this capacity doesn’t take guts. It does.

If the Facepalm subreddit wasn’t 85% Donald Trump these days, Destination X would be a perfect exhibit for it. I don’t want to spoil too much for readers who might watch, but for people who are as well-traveled as their bios say they are, the contestants sure seem to know very little about what’s almost certainly the world’s most tourist-friendly continent. 

And I know: It’s easy for me to say that, given that I’m obsessed with geography to possibly an unhealthy extent. Maybe I should give these players the benefit of the doubt given that there’s lots of pressure being in front of a camera, not to mention the isolation of being on that blacked-out bus for so long with only each other for company. I don’t want to minimize the fact that reality TV sets are built to break people (again, that’s the point), but I can’t tell you how many times I cringed during the first episode.

Like, it’s no wonder I wasn’t recruited for Destination X. I’d win every single season, and I hope to Arceus that there will be more seasons, because it’s entertaining as hell. I love watching these surprisingly ignorant recruits, including a Coachella grandma, a professional bird-watcher, and an aww-shucks sports bettor, clash over who got which clues to their destination. And yes, I’d bet 100 to 1 that the majority of these players are recruits. 

I guess I should explain how you get eliminated from this show. Well, at the end of every episode, after some people earn clues through challenges and some do not, five players are sent to the dreaded Map Room. As far as I can tell, the Map Room is on the same bus as the contestants’ living quarters. I’ll probably get cancelled for the Harry Potter reference, but this bus must have an Undetectable Extension Charm or whatever it was called in the books. There’s no way the Map Room could fit on it normally.

Each player sent to the Map Room has two minutes to place an X on a map of Europe in a specific location. Ultimately, in the words of the host, they’ve only got to answer one question: Where the hell am I? And whoever “plonks” their X furthest from the actual location must get off the bus, which means they’re eliminated from the competition.

Now, as stated above, this show’s reviews on Google did not inspire the most confidence. But again, fuck the haters. This is amazing.

Seriously, this is the show I needed. After several months spent doomscrolling for hours a day, I could really use a show that’s just intellectually stimulating enough to pay attention to while also being a total hot mess from the standpoint of trashy reality TV drama. Like, it’s a total fever dream. 

The contestants aren’t the only characters here. As stated above, Destination X is hosted by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, a man I’d never seen on TV prior to yesterday, but who ends up being an amazing host. NBC chose perfectly for the role, and I couldn’t laugh harder at how playfully sadistic Morgan sounds when conversing with the contestants. He’s turned Europe into a giant game board, and the players only see what I want them to see. Those are his words, not mine.

Another factor that made me snort was how this show is put together. The production value is through the roof, but not in a way that makes Destination X feel refined or scripted. Rather, the production value is so over-the-top that it loops around to being cartoonish. Whether it’s the host riding in on a motorcycle, or the montages of people donning their high-tech VR goggles and having their vision switched off, it feels so excessive. But again, it’s so breathtakingly entertaining that you won’t care how cheesy it is. I promise.

I can’t tell you how much I needed Destination X. Twenty-four hours ago, I didn’t even know this series existed, and now I’m obsessed. New episodes drop Tuesday evenings (in EST) on NBC, but you can also watch it on several streaming platforms including YouTube TV and Peacock. 

At time of writing, two episodes are available for your viewing pleasure. And I highly recommend you take advantage of them. If you want to watch something related to geography (or just love looking at European scenery in both highly populated and pastoral regions), Destination X is for you. Even if you’re not in the mood for something incredibly intellectual, this is one of the messiest shows I’ve ever seen, in a good way. It’s such a train wreck that you might just love it.