My Best GeoGuessr Plays: Version 2.0
Hello. As all of you know, most likely, I’m a big fan of GeoGuessr. You know it - it’s the computer game where you get plopped somewhere on Google Street View and you have to guess the location. In today’s article, I’ll be listing a few of my most memorable rounds since my last article three weeks ago.
Google Street View imagery within the GeoGuessr interface. Large detached homes with small lawns and abundant palm trees can be seen.
This round looks like any other upscale suburb from the American Sun Belt. That is, until you see the street signs!
In this round I saw giant McMansions amidst palm trees. This area looked relatively it car-dependent, and at first I was convinced I might be in Florida. After all, given the vegetation and architecture, it looks like it could be down the street from Mar-a-Lago. They say lots of places are starting to look the same these days, but what do I know?
But then I saw a white street sign, which is instantly a red flag if you’re tempted to guess in the United States. As most people who watch American movies will be well aware, our street name signs are green. The signs in this location were in English, suggesting an Anglophone country, but the cars were driving on the left. My first thought was Australia.
That in itself presents an issue, however, because Australia’s a pretty big country. Given the sheer number of palm trees present, I felt like it was Queensland as opposed to New South Wales or especially Victoria. So I ended up plonking just south of Brisbane, near the city of Gold Coast. And, lo and behold, I was correct, earning a point value in the 4700s.
Now, here’s the memorable part: My opponent guessed in the United States. And again, this was a Moving game, so they might not have had the same information as me. If not for the street signs and driving direction, it would be easy to guess southern California or Florida. However, my opponent guessed a location in the Midwest, which has no palm trees. At least, no palm trees that grow naturally! Needless to say, this guess got me the win against one of the dumbest opponents I’ve ever faced.
Google Street View imagery within the GeoGuessr interface. There is a wooden utility pole with a sign visible on it. This sign advertises a sealcoating/paving company with a phone number starting in 508.
I’ve previously written about how difficult it can be to region-guess the United States. I’m on record saying that trying to memorize all the hundreds of area codes might end up with you “smearing excrement on the walls of a padded room”. And to some extent, I stand by that assertion.
You see, Turkey’s area codes are intuitive. Phone numbers beginning with 2 are in the western part of the country, those starting with 3 are in the middle of the country, and Eastern Turkey is served by area codes that start with 4. This makes sense, so it’s no wonder why the United States doesn’t do it this way. Rather than the “Turkish Delight” of simpler area codes, memorizing those in the USA might end up an American Bad Dream.
That being said, if you do know America’s area codes without going insane, power to you. It’s the best tool to regionguess the country, and it’ll almost always be enough to win that round unless your opponent is someone like Trevor Rainbolt. It also helped me during one particular round last week. As you can tell, a phone number featuring the 508 area code is visible, and as a Massachusetts resident myself, I knew that this code serves the Worcester area, the South Shore/Buzzards Bay region consisting of Bristol and Plymouth Counties, Cape Cod, and the islands of Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket. In fact, I’d seen a sign for “Bristol”, giving me a general idea of where to look for this code.
I scored in the low 4900s on this location in Westport, Massachusetts. Even though I ended up choking on the resulting comfortable lead, I still consider this round memorable because you never know what will come in handy.
Google Street View imagery (within the GeoGuessr) interface of land surrounding an oil refinery in a somewhat dry tropical climate. The street has double yellow central lines.
Oh boy. This one was a doozy.
I found myself in a tropical setting that otherwise looked like the United States. Street signs were green, and the signs said “SPEED LIMIT” rather than Canada’s “MAXIMUM” (not that Canada has any tropical zones) or Puerto Rico’s “VELOCIDAD MÁXIMA”. That’ll be important later. Additionally, the road’s center lines were deep yellow, and there were two of them.
My first thought was Hawaii. As you can tell from the images, this was an industrial zone containing what looked like an oil refinery. Clearly, this is not the Hawaii of the brochures and Instagram reels.
I guessed Kauai, and I’m not sure exactly what possessed me to send Kauai rather than the more populated and industrialized island of Oahu. This cost me a couple hundred points (giving me a score in the 4600s as opposed to the 4900s). However, it only prolonged the match by one round, because my opponent guessed Puerto Rico.
Now, I suppose Puerto Rico does have a strong petrochemical industry. That’s what this Wikipedia article suggests, after all. It’s kind of ironic that Wikipedia has now become The One Reliable Source™ that must be Defended At All Costs™, but that’s America in 2025. In all seriousness, watching the replay, it looks like my opponent made a “panic guess” after I sent Hawaii and they only had fifteen seconds to plonk.
If they’d seen what I saw, though, I don’t think they would have guessed Puerto Rico. And I saw possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on street view while playing GeoGuess. Get a load of this:
Google Street View imagery within the GeoGuessr interface of a building advertising “Aloha Petroleum, Ltd.”
This honestly could have been its own article. I’m now aware that “Aloha Petroleum, Ltd.” is a chain of gas stations serving Hawaii that has about 60 locations. Of course, it’s no surprise that Hawaii is car-dependent like most of the rest of the United States. We can have a conversation any time about how, in the words of one Joni Mitchell, they paved paradise to put up a parking lot. But let’s leave the big yellow taxi alone.
Seriously, look at that. Aloha Petroleum. This felt Orwellian to me. Like, “Aloha”, the well-known Hawaiian word for both “hello” and “goodbye”, is associated with paradise on Earth. It’s the word you’re greeted with upon landing at Daniel K. Inouye International Airport in Honolulu, along with (allegedly) a flower necklace called a lei. At least, that’s what popular culture would have us believe.
So to put that word associated with a beautiful place with environmentally conscious people, and plop it right next to one of this world’s most destructive industries…it’s darkly comical. It reminded me of sayings like “alternative facts” or that time Donald Trump told a rally crowd in 2018 to disbelieve their own eyes and ears.
It’s like: War is peace. Freedom is slavery. ALOHA PETROLEUM!
There are plenty of debates about whether it’s ethical to visit Hawaii. Truth be told, lots of people abroad are questioning whether it’s ethical, or even safe, to visit the United States in general at present. I’m not naïve to the fact that international tourism in the USA is down like 20% and will probably fall further. But this particular conversation isn’t really about America generally - it’s about Hawaii specifically. Some people say Hawaii should have been an independent nation as opposed to a tourist mecca for people from the American mainland. Here’s an article I think is fairly grounded, which describes reasons why some people say you should never visit Hawaii.
Anyway, these are three notable rounds from the last few weeks of GeoGuessr. Thank you for reading!
